The year, in summary.

Gentle Reader,

As this year comes to a close, I am considering the next. The past year is a good test for the future, as what I have learned, and haven't, will be what I take to the next. I write this to let you know, those few that read this and have an interest in my life, that I have learned a few things. One is that when I started this year I was that I was on the computer way too much. If any of you noticed, It's been rare for me to post. I have since learned to step away and do other things. Because of this, my skill in art has grown. Not by much, but it has.

I have also learned to let go. This past summer I finally let go of to something that I should have two years ago. When it finally came down to it, I realized that I didn't want to let go because, in this situation, I didn't trust God. I didn't want to let Him take care of it, and though I kept praying about it to Him I just wasn't truly letting Him take control. It seems a paradox, that I can pray to God about something without letting Him truly fix it but that is what I was doing. I was doing the right thing (praying) for the wrong reason. Because I wanted to fix it, and not letting God take care of it in His own Time. That said, wow I feel so much better!

This blog is not for me. It may be about me, but it I don't want it to be for me. What I say and do is all for the readers. I would hope that the things I say and write about will help you. Put a smile on your face, make you laugh, or just make your day go a bit better by realizing that maybe your life isn't as bad as some people! (e.g. mine!) I truly mean this when I say it is not for my glory but for God's. That is a hard thing to say and truly, truly mean. People tell me that I am talented, in writing, drawing, charming *cough*. Those talents, if true, are not mine but God's! He made me! He placed me in a family that would encourage those Gifts of His. I am amazed that he would trust such a Gift in my hands. I love drawing, and being able to make images that people admire. Yes, I feel a bit of pride at a nice drawing or painting but I have to step back and thank God. I know that He gave me these Gifts so that I could Serve Him. That is another thing I learned this year. Now to compliment a friend of mine, Kristen. I was at the Youth Alive conference thingie, in Burbank. She sang and man did she nail that song! Well, it was after that I was in a group and I complimented her singing. The first words out of her mouth was not "thank you" but rather "It's to the glory of God." (Or something to that effect, if not the exact words the gist of what she said. It's been a while!) I was impressed! What had happened was that she wasn't feeling well and her voice was messed up. Right before she got up, the group she was singing with all prayed for her voice and God moved. He obviously healed her! Her response to my compliment is what I want. That instinctual reaction to say that it is not my glory, but for Him.

Okay, I think this is the last. If any of you, especially the youth, have a problem or something comes up. LISTEN TO YOUR PASTOR. I cannot stress this enough! I have been blessed with a pastor that is a strong powerful Man of God. I do not want to get above myself or say anything untoward but I would compare him to the prophets of old and the apostles. I would be blessed to be a quarter of the man that he is. That said, your pastor is in your life to guide and teach you. My pastor has told me something I did not want to hear, but I knew that he was right. I listened, as hard as it was, and my life is the better for it. I believe I would have been in the world by now, had I not.

Well, I hope that you can take something home with this. I am by no means wise, and definitely consult your Bible and pastor before following any of the advice. That said, May God richely bless you and best wishes this holiday Season.

Don't forget the Reason for the Season. Jesus.


Post Script
This year I lost a friend. I don't like losing friends but it seems I have no choice in the matter. It was not my choice but I am sure it was my actions that caused it. Honesty... That is a difficult thing to have sometimes. I thought that I was honest to a fault, well, I was the fault was that I wasn't that honest. Even after I told them I would. Fear that they wouldn't like what I had to say kept me from telling them the truth. That has worked out stellar, you can tell. [read: sarcasm] Huh, now they will barely look at me and only give quick short answers when directly spoken to. I hate it. In my insecurity I want people to like me. This may seem odd for me to post this, as this is personal. That doesn't matter. I want my friend back. I know we will never be great friends, as our personalities just never seem to mesh. I just want them to not avoid me. I am not writing this for other people, I am writing this for them. You know how to contact me. I am not the greatest person, neither am I the greatest friend. Forgive my extreme weirdness. I am not asking us to be BFFs, I am only asking you to stop looking like you smelled a skunk when you walk by.

ah, I would explain myself to the rest of you... But really, I am who I am. Weird, eccentric and possibly a bit insane. This is me. So deal.