Contemplative

I was told, quite recently, that I was "not nerdy, but smart and contemplative." Now we may dispute the former assertions of intelligence and the lack of being nerdy, but I would like to focus on the latter assertion. That is to say, the contemplative part. Being who I am, I would not say that I am especially thoughtful. Indeed, it is most often the case that I am not thinking, especially when I am speaking, and find myself in greater amounts of trouble than it would had I thought for but a moment longer. The thought needed for me to think to myself "Just shut up John." This thought rarely occurs to me until much later, after I have–with great time and effort–clawed myself out of the hole I had so quickly dug. That said, I find myself at times, when I am no longer surrounded by people or inclinations to speak, that I become pensive and... yes, even contemplative. Thoughtful almost. It is in these moments that I find myself eloquent. Speaking (Or rather, thinking.) with unfettered words and insightful musings which cause me to wonder why I cannot seem to grasp this innate part of me in times most dire. Dire circumstance like that of the hole-diggery and all around foot-in-mouth incidences. Am I the pompous prattler to which the surrounding observers must perceive me as? Is there some gift to obtain to suddenly become so quick-witted that I speak with quality? Sadly I believe that there is some interference caused by my proximity to others that causes my signal to be unclear. My wit is staticky. I don't have any antennas on my brain to fiddle with to get better reception either.

It is but the plight of a fool
to be one though he know it not
sadly speaking wisdom unwise
twisted words sound correctly but
sadder still when said fool knows it
for all a fools effort changes naught.

photo by Caitlyn Kimbley